Gateway to the Best Weekend Ever

On Friday, I drove down to St. Louis with Jacksy to visit our friend, Jonathan. After four hours of driving and repeated uncomfortable silences with Jacksy, we met up with Jonathan and...it was on. Among all the hotspots, one place we hit up was a 20 something bar called the Cheshire. Needless to say, I instantly became the life of the party as soon as I walked through that door. I didn't have enough hands to cover all the high fives I was getting from random white dudes and enough cell phone memory to store all the ladies' digits. I'll have to say all of the attention got boring. So I told the crew, "It's time to make money."

After grabbing some eats, we rolled up to the President Casino around 3:30am and were on a mission to turn our dollar bills into benjamins. They had a poker room and I could have easily smoked all them country bumpkins, but I decided instead to introduce Jacksy to the wonderful world of Craps. It was Jacksy's first time playing and he was visibly nervous. However, I assured him, "Just follow my lead. The dice will do the rest." As soon as I said that, the cash just started pouring down upon us. It's like the chips were falling from the sky and all we had to do was hold out our hands and catch as much money as we could. At the end of the night, Jonathan made 2 hundos, Jacksy made 175, and I took down a mere 425, not much. We got back to Jonathan's to sleep around 8am. We woke up at 12pm and I was seriously hurting. But the pile of cash I slept on helped ease the pain. We passed by Wendy's for lunch and my mom called my cell. Our conversation went as follows:

Mom: Did you eat yet?
Jonar: We're about to.
Mom: Where are you going to eat?
Jonar: Wendy's.
Mom: What?
Jonar: Wendy's, Mom.
Mom: Huh?!!
Jonar: WENDYS!!
Mom: WHAT?!!!!
Jonar: WEEEEEEEEEEEENDYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYS!!!!!!

After an exhausting 10 minutes of shouting, I was in desperate need of a beer. So we made our way to the Anheuser-Busch Brewery. Highlights were Jonathan and I slamming down free cold ones while Jacksy stood by the horse stable in awe of "the Clydesdales' enormous dongs," as Jacksy eloquently put.

At night, Jonathan took us to the infamous Fast Eddies in Al-Town, Illinois. Now unlike my immediate success the night before, I felt like an outsider being the only non-white in the bar. Upon entering, the cold stares of curious white folk came from every direction. Whether it was my stunning good looks or the shock of seeing an oriental somewhere outside of Chinatown remains to be seen. Nevertheless, I heard things like, "Whos the Chinaman and why is he so dark?" and "What the hell is that North Korean doing in Alton?" I even had one lady come up and ask me, "I just have to ask you: are you 'Philippines'?" I had to break it to her that I was in fact not the country but "Filipino." Her response was, "Sure, whatever. I heard you natives eat other humans." I started fearing for my safety until I spotted a table of black people. And let me tell you, I have NEVER been more happy to see black people in my life.

So, I began to let loose and enjoy the cheap beer and even cheaper food. But this food was nothing short of spectacular...marinated tender steak kabobs and cheeseburgers all for under 3 dollars, by far the best bang for your buck. With such inexpensive libations, everybody started gettin tipsy. We then went back to the Cheshire for Jonathan's friend's Bday. I hammered down a couple of gigantic beer flasks and drunk dialed a couple of friends. The night gets a little blurry from this point on. I vaguely remember going to some casino in the middle of nowhere, then going to a diner and eating eggs, hashbrowns and meat ALL drenched in chili. The next thing I know I wake up with an excruciating headache and 2 more hundos in my pocket. We all were hungry as hell so we hit up this place called Hodaks. If you ever go to St. Louis, its worth the trip to this restaurant. Hands down the best fried chicken I've ever had. After lunch, Jacksy and I went back home to Chicago so Jonathan could start writing a paper due the next day.

Considering we ate great food, drank loads of liquor and partied hard both nights til the AM, all of which was funded by the Casino, our weekend was aite.