Starback

Let me preface the main story with this...last March when I was out of a job, I went shopping with my fam and bought this awesome plain white t-shirt with bold black lettering which reads, UNEMPLOYED. My dad absolutely loved the shirt. He told me that if I ever have an interview in the future, I should wear it and would get hired. That moment of opportunity came today.

I had an interview for a "Barista" position at Starbucks, or as my dad liked to mistakenly call it, Starback. Since I'll be starting as a part-time student this May, I wanted a part-time job that could fit into my school schedule for the next two years. Not only does Starback offer flexible scheduling but they provide full medical benefits to all emlpoyees who work a minimum of 20 hours per week, which is unheard of when it comes to part-time work. Not to mention, I'd be working with interesting and nice people, get to interact with a wide range of customers on a daily basis, and the kicker: free coffee and 30% off any item at any Starbucks anytime! So I threw on my UNEMPLOYED shirt and spiced it up with a nice sports coat, stylish jeans with matching dress shoes and off to the interview I went. I don't know how long interviews at Starbucks usually take but the manager and I shot the "ish" for almost an hour and a half. Let's just say I had my Charm on full blast. Towards the end of the interview, the manager asked me, "so when could you start work?" I just coolly pulled open my sports coat, pointed at the print on the front, looked him in the eye and asked, "when do you think?" His response? "Then, welcome to the team!"

I was so happy that I wish I could have tap danced the Irish Jig right on the spot. However, I realized I am not Irish nor is my name Jeanne Haske. Instead, I chose to contain my excitement and break the great news to my mom. You would think that after a couple of months of my mom hounding me on getting a job, she would be happy that I'll be reentering the workforce. But I received no such congrats, just a typical "mom's future worries" response: "So, how will your schedule be when you are in school? I hope this does not effect your studies, Jonar." I sarcastically thanked her for congratulating me and told her that because of her lack of recognition, she just lost her 30% Starbucks discount privelege.

I hoped for a better reaction from my sister. I explained that I would get my own cool Starbucks hats and Aprons to wear but she started laughing at me over the phone because of how excited I was to work there. Needless to say she too lost her 30% discount privilege. So be careful about how you act around me. Or it's NO COFFEE FOR YOU! You can call me the Barista Nazi. Reck-id-nize, bitches.

I start this upcoming Monday. I just hope I can wake up on time.